I looked at the clock once again, with anxious eyes, waiting for it to strike 9. And i wondered when i wanted time to stop, it just flew by and now when i want it to pass, it wants to hold on, dragging me deep in to the past. With this thoughts in mind, i looked at things around me. The empty vessels, the sound of churning of flour and the stagnant dial arms and i wondered is this what i asked for? Is this what i came for? Cleaning dishes and packing food and we thought knowledge is power. Yes it is but with bucks in your pocket.
And i remembered what i saw in library the other day. A student dressed up as a waiter, getting ready for his work. A student cleaning up the library floor. A few thoughts forward and i remembered a student just like me, cutting trees in college. And i thought, money for sure is life and i was convinced it can buy anything.
A few thoughts forward and i remembered what my Professor had said the other day in class, ” The funny thing about life which we always forget is that, you can always change direction but time, time can never be reversed.” I looked at myself and i knew it was true.
When i was coming to U.S., i was told it’s the land of oppurtunities. It’s the land where all dreams come true. The enthusiasm with which i had packed my bags while leaving from India, i still wonder will i ever be able to gather my stuff to go back with that enthu? And now i know the answer.
I still remember very clearly the day when i had written in my best friend’s diary,” I dont know will life ever be possible without you?” and i know i am still alive. Happy with other friends. But i know i will never be able to hold someone again and say,” I won’t be able to live without you.”
The other day i remembered my friends talking about Californication, “Beer for water, smoke for air and bitch for beaches.” I now know my blood group is smoke +.
With this thoughts i took a cigarette in my hand, a coffee in another and i remebered what my friend used to say,” Yaar… life bade chutte cheez hain.”
The dreamwriters's Blog 